Advice - How To Keep Your Relationship

HOW TO KEEP YOUR RELATIONSHIPS...

>> Too Much Time At Work Can Kill Your Relationship - What Should You Do? 

Doug spends most of his time working at the office and as a result Lisa thinks hes cheating on her or he just doesn't care. Michelle spends most of her time worrying about the kids and John feels that she doesn't have time for his needs? Will this relationship be saved? Should it be saved? Should you get back with your girlfriend, wife, husband, or partner if this is happening to you?

Here are some steps that may help you stay with your significant other if that is what you want to do:

For starters make up your mind if you think this relationship is worth saving. Most relationships believe it or not can be saved with clear communication and due diligence both Doug and Melanie must decide that they want to make it work. If one of them checks out and doesn't want to opt back in, there is little chance this will be positive

Most people remain in relationships because it is its what they know or remain in a relationship because of the little ones. Even for couples who are not married with kids. Guys looking for advice on "How To Get Your Girlfriend Back" that question alone is not enough. Whether you decide to save your relationship begins with a sincerity by both parties that it is worth hanging on to.

You should pinpoint the struggle in your relationship. One of the most common problems in trying to stay together is that people believe the symptoms are the problem itself.

For example, many people think cheating is a problem that causes splitting up. In truth, the infidelity is a symptom of a much deeper issue. For example a lack of true togetherness can lead to a better half. From most people's point of view they would look at the cheating as the main cause, the underlying cause of the affair was the lack of intimacy in the chief relationship. If you're not going to deal with the lack of intimacy, you might be able to keep another affair from starting through the use of guilt, but another difficulty (for instance pornography) could pop up because you never dealt with the most important issues.

When you start to deal with most important issues rather than symptoms, you can save the relationship.

Once you have explored the core problems, you can begin to share your thoughts. This means both saying out loud your own feelings and listening hearing to your partner's concerns. Guide your partner through it when you are talking about your problems as a signal that you want to reconnect even when your emotions are moving around. When your partner talks about things that upset you remember that he or she is not doing it because he or she wants to hurt you. Rather it is because they want to improve the relationship.

After you have outline the problems in your relationship, produce an action plan to solve them. Then, take concrete steps on your action plan. If you don't spend time together like you used to, plan a date night every week. Take turns coming up with creative ways to spend an evening together each Tuesday If the lack of communication is the problem, commit to spending 30 minutes before going to bed just talking to one another. And take action

Finally, you should realize that saving a relationship is an ongoing activity. You are going to take two steps forward only to take one step back. Common happenings are both laughter and tears going forward. Be fast to apologize and slow to blame.

Is your relationship worth saving? If so, you just learned in this article how to save a relationship.

-  Benjamin writes many articles and reviews sites that offer help for people looking for solutions to their problems.

>> How To Forget The Past Relationship

The past that refuses to go away casts its shadow very long into the present and the future. Many of us have had break ups in the past and now desire to go forward . Something destroys every new relationship. What is that? Because if you find that your every new relationship is breaking apart, you will start searching for faults in yourself. The truth may lie somewhere else.

What happens after a break up?

This depends largely upon the intensity of the earlier relationship. More intense the love, more hurt will result after the break up. And if your break up took place because of unfaithfulness of your partner, it will hurt you still more. The memories of time shared will haunt forever. A look at something shared will bring in an avalanche of past memories and will take away your peace in a moment. The past can be very destructive. It kills the person, it kills the present and the future. It can haunt one forever.

How to come out of it?

There are no easy ways out of this. Some of us will never come out of the grief for our lifetime. One method that can help is this. Imagine a reservoir of emotions. Imagine of many reservoirs. In one, you have your longing for the one you lost. In another you store your memories of good times. In yet another you have stored pain that you are suffering from. In this manner imagine of many reservoirs. Till they are emptied, you will not become new. Am i right? What is to be done? Please empty them out. It will take time, in some cases many years, but you can empty them if you really want. Live through all your longing again and empty that reservoir. Similarly cry as much as you can and fell the hurt the lost love has given you. Experience everything fully, suffer from all the pain and try to empty out all that is in your heart.

This is very painful. But if you want to live again, please do this. Many of us hide our hurt, avoid thinking about the good moments shared together and in all possible ways try to be so busy that the feelings don't come out at all. But the feelings are very much there inside eating away our vitals. These feelings will never allow you to move forward in a positive way. Please remove everything from the mind and the heart by reliving and go forward. You may no longer feel the hurt and the pain with the same intensity, but it will be very difficult to fall in love with another person again with the earlier intensity. Please accept this fact. Your beloved you left you has taken away something very vital from you - your faith in goodness of human beings. But after emptying out totally, you will at least be come a normal person, who can carry on life if not like a robot, than like a person without any feelings.

>> 4 Blocks to Building a Lifelong Relationship with Your Daughter    

As with every generation, mothers and daughters share a special bond. Though one is not quite a woman and one, in many ways, is still no longer a girl - they each bear the qualities of each other. Little girls want to grow up fast, and dear sweet moms want to regain their youth. Mothers also know how important it is to be a good role model for their daughters.

So, with only the best of intentions, moms and daughters travel their journeys through life. It is every mother's hope that their daughter grow to be strong, independent, caring, and giving. A mother's dream is to enjoy the fruits of her labor (no pun intended) ...to know that her daughter is happy, confident, and kind to all. There are many detours and roadblocks along the way, but you can overcome them using these four building blocks to obtain and maintain a relationship with your daughter that will last a lifetime! Because of your efforts in developing this relationship now, not only will you enjoy a close unique friendship with your daughter, you will also pass on to her the wonderful gift of future strong relationships with her own children. Really, what can be more important and rewarding than that? Not much, it ranks right up there at the top!

Life is based on building blocks. Relationships, too, are based on the same. Given the tools, you can build yours strong...strong to last the bumps in the road and the trials of life. A strong foundation provides the anchors to weather any storm. It's never too late to begin. With each new day comes renewal, forgiveness, and a positive step towards building once again.

BLOCK #1...TRUST. Without trust, any relationship doesn't stand a chance! Trust often is confused as a "given". A God given right! As a loving mother, your daughter has grown to trust YOU. She knows you will pick her up when you say you will. She knows that she is cared for and provided for by YOU. Your daughter also knows your love is unconditional and that regardless of her doings, you'll be there. She might get yelled at, but she TRUSTS you above all. Realize that YOU have earned her trust through word, credibility, and actions.

How about her perception of earning trust? Each young lady must understand that TRUST is earned. The same way YOU earned her trust in YOU! Ask yourself: Why is it that sometimes we feel the need to accredit our children with attributes that should be earned? Our daughters need to understand that trust is patient. The small steps/small rewards process is a journey to gaining their independence. They need to take responsibility for earning the trust, and guarding it dearly, as one of the most valuable aspects of your shared relationship. When you, as her mother, make this important, it becomes important.

There are five steps to establishing trust between a mother and a daughter. Each important and well guarded. They include: HONESTY; AWARENESS; FOLLOW UP; CONSEQUENCE; and finally, PRIVILEGE. Knowing each of them and how to apply these steps to a working relationship is key in maintaining a loving relationship.

BLOCK #2...COMMUNICATION. Funny when our children are born, we seem so in tuned to their needs. We know the difference between a hungry cry and a mad cry. We can sense the slight mood change and worry for hours that there is a cold coming on. As our little girls grow, we teach them to talk. We repeat sounds and clap for joy when they say "ball" and "Mama". We are elated to know that our little girls are on their way. We pay close attention to all of their needs and kiss them softly and quietly goodnight.

Just because we teach language, an ensemble of "sounds" does not mean we teach communication. Communication as defined by Webster is: an act of transmitting OR an exchange of information or opinions. Think about this, "an act of transmitting" which can mean giving orders, commands, and/or instructions. This of course is necessary at times. It means we mean what we say - and do it! No questions, no discussion. This form of communication is certainly acceptable and appropriate at times. Taking the other side of the definition, "an exchange of information" we understand this to be a form of exploring another's opinion, thoughts, and logic. This too is very important. As a matter of fact, this is the foundation of effective communication involving two people.

When does it start? As our girls learn their words at the age of 2, they also begin to learn communication skills. These skills are mostly taught by our physical reactions and not our verbal capabilities.

Physical reactions involve the delivery of our words, the tone of our voices, and the actions of our body. It is not about getting through - it's about logical reasoning and openness to understanding another human being. Since your daughter has already achieved a level of trust in you, she will embrace your skills of communication if delivered in a manner that support her best interests without threatening her own desires. YOU, as the parent, are in control at all times. YOU just need the tools to help educate your daughter on the ways of the world. With these tools and exercises, you are able to begin to lay the strong foundation of open-minded, free exchange of information without losing your position of authority. Remember communication can be a "two way street" or a single command. Your choice, your control.

BLOCK #3...EFFECTIVE LISTENING. Now that we have defined communication, I urge you...don't spend too much time talking. Teach by actions as well! How? It's easy...(once you understand how). Spend a lot of time listening!!! Effective listening provides an avenue showing insight into your daughter's life. There is so much you can learn by listening and observing. Listening not only involves what your daughter says, it involves what others say too. This includes her friends, teachers, enemies and anyone she has contact with. I'm not suggesting you spy or have "reports back". Just listen - you'll learn more than you can imagine. Listening is a skill. Creating environments of opportunity is what you want to do. For example...Car pools are painful to be sure, but when you pick up a bunch of her friends, keep the music to a soft level - don't talk - just listen! The girls will be open with their chatter and you'll be able to interpret not only the quality of her friendships, but the collective views of the group. This can be very valuable in future conversations you may have with your daughter. It's also a great way to get to know her friends! Subtle suggestions from your side will have a better impact if you are more informed...remember what you learned regarding communication...Since your daughter has already achieved a level of trust in you, she will embrace your skills of communication if delivered in a manner that support her best interests without threatening her own desires. YOU, as the parent, are in control at all times.

BLOCK #4...LETTING GO. Letting go is the ongoing process we all deal with. When, how, just enough, not too much. Knowing when to allow your daughter to find her way and knowing when to hold her hand and guide her. There will be times when your heart breaks for her, when you want to take her pain, her place, her path - but the same lessons we've learned, so too shall they. We realize we can't (and should not) always shield her from everything. If you think about it, looking back on our own life - some of the most painful situations taught us the most powerful life lessons. Whether that was empathy and compassion for others, or our ability to forgive and move on; whatever crisis we face we have a choice - We can choose to be "bitter or better". It's a choice. In being there for your daughter, while letting go you provide the strength she'll need to stand on her own. Through pain we grow and through growth we become whole. Sometimes there are no words, sometimes silence and solidarity speak louder than any great speech. If you have built upon the three previous blocks, letting go will be a natural process of love. There is no fear where love dwells. Your goal is accomplished - you have the strong foundation for a lifelong, healthy relationship with your daughter.

Being there involves just that...being there as a friend, a parent, a role model, a mother. Learning today how to build and enjoy a mother/daughter relationship is the best gift you will ever give to both yourself and your daughter. This is a gift that can be passed down from generation to generation, building stronger and deeper each time.

Learning about enriching your relationship with your daughter is one of the most valuable educations you will ever do for yourself. The building blocks can show you the way. From beautiful baby girl in your arms, through the turbulent teens, the age of independence and self discovery, to watching her gain total confident independence. Your reward is knowing that your job of parenting has now become your fruit of friendship. 

- "Hi, My name is Arthur Rich and I am an author on many subjects including Home, Health and Wealth. Reading and writing is my passion in life."   See more articles or go to Arthur's site: Website: Relationship articles - I am a self confessed information sponge

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